Confrontative Values in Filipino Psychology
Challenging the notion that we are "passive" and "non-confrontational"
Foreigners often praise the “hospitable” nature of Filipinos. It’s great that many outsiders feel like welcome visitors—it says a lot about the warmth of our culture. But it also seems that we advertise the Philippines almost like a “resort” for tourists, with lush fields, clear lagoons, virgin beaches… and accommodating staff. It seems that this echoes a lot of old colonial notions of the natives as “passive” or “submissive,” and in desperate need of “education” and “empowerment.” It’s true that many of our cultural values are, as Virgilio Enriquez said, “accommodative.” But this idea of the “compliant native” (or, today, the “obedient masses”)1 only serves those who want power and resources all to themselves.
An environment that has allowed people to survive on each other’s goodwill would of course develop in them the skill of social sensitivity, of knowing what another person needs without them having to say it directly. If an outsider comes from a culture where people hoard resources for individual benefit, they can make the most out of our cultural tendency to care for others, and so they might get away with rudeness, or, to the extreme, economic exploitation. Those who look at Filipino cultural values and only pay attention to the behavioral manifestations will only see the accommodating qualities—and in doing so, they would gravely misinterpret these traits. They would not know about the undercurrent of care, solidarity, and collective identity that are the true drivers of our traditional values. It’s not about the “Filipino-ness” of these values; it’s about whether or not these bring us closer to community and shared humanity. The professor Jay Yacat said that, when talking about values, we don’t have to obsess over the implications of being “Maka-Pilipino” (Pro-Filipino). We only have to assess whether our actions are Pro-People, or Maka-Kapwa.
Early studies on Philippine social values showed that we prioritize “smooth interpersonal relationships” above all else. We were painted as indirect and non-confrontational, often to the point of being dishonest and martyr-like in the way we yield to authority figures, jerks, and invaders. It is said that we do all this just to avoid upsetting others. But if we look into our history, we see that, when pushed to the limits of our politeness, we bite back and fight to the death—for justice (katarungan), honor (karangalan), and freedom (kalayaan). Enriquez identified various “confrontative” values; among them are lakas ng loob (inner strength), pakikibaka (sharing in the struggle), and bahala na (facing uncertainty).
Whether or not we’re successful in the fight is secondary to the Spirit that persists despite what we have to go through. We must nurture and strengthen this Spirit, not belittle or infantilize it. Yes, it is possible to maintain social harmony and smooth interpersonal relationships—but only when we are free, and only when our inherent dignity as human beings are respected.
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During the pandemic, those who questioned confusing national policies were labeled as “pasaway” (this refers to someone stubborn, usually a child). This can be seen as one way through which cultural values—particularly that of pakikisama (collective participation)—is weaponized.
Really powerful and meaningful piece - thank you.